June 20, 2012

June 20, 2012

It has been awhile since I posted a journal entry!  I had hopes of posting my past few weeks of weight loss with the goal to post when I got to 35lbs.  But, I have hit another plateau and here I sit at 34lbs; and I’ve been here for a few weeks now.
I’m a really stubborn person and everyone who knows me knows that I am the most impatient person, too.  In my last post, I stated my goal was to get to 50lbs by my birthday.  That was a pretty realistic goal when I made it 6 weeks ago.  Only now, with this slower crawl in my “30s”, that goal is getting further and further away.  As of now, to hit that goal, I have 10 weeks to lose 16lbs.  That’s more than 1 ½ lbs a week and with weeks like I’ve been having, it’s not looking good.  Hubby has reminded me that these mini-goals are great, but the bigger goal is to keep doing what I’m doing.  It’s not important WHEN I get there, it’s important TO get there.  He’s right…even if I hate to admit it!
It pains me to acknowledge that I’m struggling, but I know that this is reality.  And it’s not only my reality it’s A LOT of people’s reality.  I want to be a success WITH struggles to overcome.  Overcoming them is an amazing feeling!  I recently read a story about a person who lost a ton of weight.  What they did was INCREDIBLE.  But as I read their story I kept waiting to read about their struggle…how some days/weeks it was difficult and there were no budges in the scale…it never came.  They gained a lot of weight, then saw the light one day and BAM!  Dropped 300+lbs.  I’m not saying that they didn’t have weeks like I’m having, but their story didn’t tell us about those weeks.  Just that they got on a plan, stuck to it and it was gone.  It was inspiring to read about that success, truly, but I didn’t relate to it.  That’s why I decided to post about my frustrating journey this week.  For many, weight loss is a constant struggle!  I would have liked to say that I got on one plan and stuck to it and it’s been successful for me, but the truth is:  every week, I hop on that scale and I really just don’t know what it’s going to say.  Some weeks I do everything right and I lose; some weeks I do everything right and I don’t lose a darn thing.  The reality is that I’m a slave to that scale…and if just praying to it worked, I’d be doing bikini commercials by now.
So, I adjust some things:  change up my workouts / add or subtract calories / pray some more…and I wait.  The difference is that this is the NEW me now.  Although it’s extremely frustrating, I now know to keep going.  What I don’t or WON’T do is quit; there’s not even an ounce of me that wants to do that.  I keep going because I know it’s the right thing to do.  Even if I want to throw the scale out the window, which I might just do!
So check back later to see if I hit the next big goal – I’m not sure what that will be at this point.  50lbs is still in my sights, but at this point, 35lbs is looking pretty damn good to me.

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