December 12, 2013
Taking a Moment...
So things have been going really well in my neck of the woods...it's funny, it seems when health/fitness/weight loss bloggers "disappear" for awhile it means they fell off the wagon...in truth, that's definitely not happened in my case. I just haven't had the time to blog in a while and I feel bad because I didn't have much to say...basically my life is pretty boring: get up, work, workout, shower, make a healthy dinner, pack healthy stuff for the next day, make sure Hubby's taken care of, sit down on the couch and fall asleep watching one of the many sitcoms we love. Pretty boring stuff, right? And how many times can you say the same thing?
So, I thought I'd check in and let you know that I'm still here...plugging along...doing my thing. And that's actually what I wanted to post about today. The monotony that is a healthy life.
I'm really trying to formulate in my mind that this is basically my life now...as boring as my every days seem, this is exactly what I wanted for myself...to live a life that incorporated my healthy lifestyle. When I first started out, everything was new and I had so much to report on...everything was an accomplishment. Now, it seems that it just is what it is. I'm not even at goal yet if we're talking numbers, but my TRUE goal is to live a healthy life and I AM...someday I might have to write about maintenance...right now, I'm writing about plugging along.
And that is absolute reality: if you want to truly live a healthy life, you have to do it day IN and day OUT. And that's all I'm doing here.
I also wanted to touch a little on some of my "challenges" and they really continue to be how much stress and expectation I put on myself. The thing is that if you want to be successful on this journey, you HAVE to be driven...it takes obsession in a way, to lose weight and get healthy. but you have to find a good balance between keeping yourself motivated and also being happy in where you are right now. When I think back about the last two years, it was such a blur...of course, it didn't feel like that when it was happening or I was plateauing, but it really WAS a blur. Part of that makes me sad because there really were so many different things going on but most of the time I was focused on the next thing I had to do: set a goal, hit it, move on. And here I am now, the time flew by anyway...all of that stress I put on myself and I still got to where I am in this moment. The part of me that is glad though, is the blogger in me. Thank goodness I started my two blogs to document the journey. I love going back and reading my old posts and remembering, mentally, where I was in that moment in time. My feelings were so very real and yet, the newest me, wants to reach back to the older me's and say, "Calm the EFF down! Stop...look around and enjoy the view! Hop into your closet and pull out some of your fat clothes that don't fit anymore and just take a minute...SAVOR. THE. MOMENT. Because I don't really think that I spent a lot of time savoring anything and that really makes me sad. I'm not going to spend too much time dwelling on it, and will instead learn from it, but while I was not wasting my time, I certainly didn't live in the moment.
Recently with the holidays I've really been in my head. And if I am being completely honest, I've been chastising myself for the silliest of things: enjoying myself...not stressing. So...can you really say "I'm not stressing" if two days later, you think back and stress about it? I'm going to say, "No...that's stressing in a nutshell, dumbass." My point is this: I need to be better at doing exactly that...enjoying myself. The problem with me and my head, is that I always feel like I'm one meal from a downslide into oblivion. Is it just me? That's the thought that is always just sitting on my shoulder, rolling around in my head, clogging my every days. Even 75+lbs later and two years of healthy living, that's what I think about. Isn't that exhausting? Yes. It really is. I am still learning folks.
In January, I start classes again. I'm anxious about how I am going to manage my healthy life and the stresses of school. But I'm also excited about it because I've changed my Graduate program to Sports and Health. I am very much looking forward to learning more about the ins and outs of health in general and of course, incorporating these theories into my life. I'm also hoping someday I can offer educated advice to all of you if you have questions! I think I have a good plan in place so we will see how it goes.
So there you have it - what's been happening in Jenn World lately. Hope you all have a wonderful Holiday!! I am going to work hard and keep the promise I made to myself this year and not plan a bunch of things that will stress me out...and I WILL be slowing things down and enjoying the holidays before they are quickly over.
I'm working hard to slow down my mind, but certainly not my momentum. I cannot turn back now.
Be well, everyone!